It can be very difficult to make big decisions in your relationship when you are being abused. The best thing you can do is to come up with a safety plan for yourself and your children/pets in order to separate yourself from your abuser.
Here are some quick tips:
- Make and keep a list of helpful phone numbers, like supportive friends, hotlines, etc.
- Keep a dated record of the abuse.
- Plan and rehearse what you would do if your partner confronted you or became physically abusive
- Go out to public places, meet other people or let other people know where you'll be
- Tell friends or family and get them to help protect you by being around when your boyfriend/girlfriend is there
- Try not to be alone with them
- Think of ways to stay in control of the situation.
- Have an excuse prepared so you can leave quickly if you feel uncomfortable or scared.
- Have a code word or signal that you can use to get friends to help you
- If you go to school with him, you could talk to a teacher or a workmate you trust to help protect you
- If you want to break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend but are scared about their reaction, you could consider telling them over the phone, rather than in person. Or you could tell them when there are other people around.
- You can create a "Bail Bag" with your important documents like your driver's license, birth certificate, bank information, social security card, etc and anything you may need if you need to get away quickly. Some victims have been successful by keeping their bags at a trusted neighbor's home, in the back of a closet, in the car, and various other places.